Summary: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

“If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude.” 
– Colin Powell in ‘The Leadership Secrets of Colin Powell’

As discussed in the previous article “Summary: The Power of Habit”, you have the power to engineer habits toward a more productive and healthier life. After all, your habits are what you choose them to be. Stephen Richard Covey, author and educator, shares his ideology on habits and how to be an effective individual in his book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”. 

“Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character.”
– Stephen R. Covey

The way you see the world is based on your own perception. In order to change a certain situation, one must change oneself. And in order to change oneself, one must change one’s perception. “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” is an approach to change oneself based on principles and character. A personal character is a collection of habits that consist of knowledge (what to do), skills (how to do it), and desires (want to do). 

“Paradigms are powerful because they create the lens through which we see the world … If you want small changes in your life, work on your attitude. But if you want big and primary changes, work on your paradigm.”
– Stephen R. Covey

Paradigm Shift in the Maturity Continuum
According to Covey, the most fundamental way to change oneself is through a paradigm shift in the “Maturity Continuum”. The Maturity Continuum refers to the three stages of maturity:

(1) Dependence: the paradigm under which we are born and rely upon others for nurturing and sustenance.
(2) Independence: the paradigm under which we rely upon ourselves and we are free from external influence. It is considered to be the highest level of achievement, but not the ultimate goal in effective living. 
(3) Interdependence: the paradigm under which we cooperate to work as one. This is considered to be the ultimate goal in effective living and is essential for good leaders and team players. 

This paradigm shift presents a new way of looking at the world and this book guides us in the journey from dependence to independence to interdependence. The movement from dependence to independence focuses on self-mastery(Habits 1-3). The movement from independence towards interdependence focuses on the development of teamwork and cooperation (Habits 4-6). And to sustain interdependence, the final habit focuses on continuous growth. It embodies all aforementioned habits and finds a proper balance between renewal and continual improvement (Habit 7).

“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.”
– Stephen R. Covey

[ The Movement from Dependence to Independence ]
Self-Mastery (Habits 1-3)

Reactive vs Pro-active individuals
Reactive individuals take a passive stance.
Example: That’s just the way I am. There’s nothing I can do about it. 
They focus their efforts in the ‘Circle of Concern’: things they can’t control.
Example: global climate change, the economy, terrorism. 
They find external sources to blame for their behavior.
Example: I feel grumpy, because the weather is bad. I have a short fuse, because it’s in my family. I failed class, because I had an incompetent teacher. 

Pro-active individuals, on the other hand, focus their efforts in the ‘Circle of Influence’: things they can control.
Example: health, personal problems. 
They take responsibility for their own life and have the ability to choose how they will respond to given situations. Your response is the greatest power an individual can hold in personal development.

The more you focus on being reactive, the more your mood will get spoiled and forms into worrying and complaining. The more you focus on being pro-active, the more your skills and abilities will improve and, at the same time, your positivity will continue to expand. 

Challenge yourself
Test the principle of proactivity to cultivate an inner locus of control:

1. Replace reactive language with proactive language.
   Example: I can’t, because that person makes me so mad -> I feel so mad, but I can control my feelings. I have to go to the gym to stay fit -> I will go to the gym to stay fit.
2. Convert reactive tasks into proactive ones. 
   Example: if only I had/could … -> I can be more …
   

“People are working harder than ever, but because they lack clarity and vision, they aren’t getting very far. They, in essence, are pushing a rope with all of their might.”
– Stephen R. Covey

Vision
Use your imagination to develop a vision of what you want to become and where you want to be. In order to make sure that you’re going the right direction, you need to determine your destination. Once you have and end in mind, you can continue flexing your proactive muscles and begin each day with a task that brings you a step closer to your vision. 

Mission Statement
A good way to incorporate this habit into your life is to develop a personal mission statement that reaffirms who you are and envisions where you want to be in the future. It is a flagpole that displays an individual’s uniqueness shaped by personal, moral, and ethical beliefs. Your mission statement helps you to lead your own life toward the future you envision. 

Principles & Values
Once you’ve determined your personal mission, you can start drafting your principles and values. This will guide you throughout your journey with clarity and confidence. Make sure the principles and values are aligned with your personal mission. Remember: the mission statement should answer who you want to be and what you want to accomplish. 

Example: Everybody works a little differently. My values and principles were very clear to me (sometimes I like to work backwards). That’s why I started with values and principles. There are three C’s in life that I hold close to my heart: choice, chance, and change. You must make a choice to take the chance and be the change you aspire to be. With that in mind, my personal mission statement is as follows: To catch the waves of the lifelong learning process called ‘life’ and passionately inspire others to dream big and unleash their true potential.

Challenge yourself
Test the principle of beginning with an end in mind:

1. What’s your vision (who do you want to be and what do you want to accomplish)? 
2. How does your vision translate into your mission statement (in one sentence)? 
3. What are your principles and values that can guide you in your daily life? 
   

“Putting first things first means organizing and executing around your most important priorities. It is living and being driven by the principles you value most, not by the agendas and forces surrounding you.”
– Stephen R. Covey

Habit 3 is where Habit 1 and 2 come together. If you’ve followed Habit 1 and 2, your values and vision should be very clear in terms of what you want to be and what you want to accomplish. Habit 3 focuses on the daily activities that help you achieve those milestones and bring you closer to your vision. It is important to have the discipline to prioritize daily tasks. Therefore, the third habit represents life management in which the purpose, values, roles, and priorities are established in a ‘time quadrant’ (also called a ‘time management matrix’). This helps you prioritize daily activities based on two factors: urgency and importance. 

Time Quadrant

• Quadrant I: important and urgent activities
  DANGER: Overly focusing on Quadrant I (spending most of the time on crises and problems) could lead to stress and, ultimately, a burnout.
• Quadrant II: important but not urgent activities
  DANGER: Non-urgent but important activities are often forgotten or neglected, because they don’t feel urgent. 
• Quadrant III: not important but urgent activities
  DANGER: spending most of the time on urgent matters that are important to others but not to yourself, could lead to shallow or broken relationships and losing the grip of control in your life.
• Quadrant IV: not important and not urgent activities
  DANGER: leading an irresponsible life by spending most of the time on unimportant and non-urgent matters often results in unemployment and being dependent on others.

Most people react to urgent matters (Quadrants I & III) and spend time doing things that are not important (Quadrants III & IV). However, Quadrant II is at the heart of personal development and helps us think ahead to prevent crises from happening in the first place. These are tasks that fuel continuous growth, yet we seldom get around executing these activities since they don’t feel urgent. The key to focusing on Quadrant II is to learn to say “no” and to be able to delegate effectively. 

Challenge Yourself
Test the principle of putting first things first: 

1. Create your own time quadrant and start prioritizing your activities. 
2. Identify Quadrant II activities and commit to implementing it. 
3. Estimate how much time you spend in each quadrant.
4. Log your time over one week and determine how accurate your estimate was. 
   How much time did you spend in the most important activities (Quadrant II)?
   

[ The Movement from Independence to Interdependence ]
Teamwork & Cooperation (Habits 4-6)

“In the long run, if it isn’t a win for both of us, we both lose. That’s why win-win is the only real alternative in interdependent realities.”
– Stephen R. Covey

Life can quickly become a zero-sum game when we learn to base our self-worth on competition. The fourth habit is about seeking mutual benefit in all human interactions with empathy and confidence. The goal is the creation of a cooperative arena instead of a competitive one. The establishment of interdependent relationships requires a strong commitment to creating situations that are mutually beneficial and satisfying to each party. 

The Character Traits of a Win-Win Attitude
(1) Integrity: be brave and stick with your true values, feeling, and commitments.
(2) Maturity: be considerate and sensitive with yourself as well as with others. Express your feelings and ideas with courage and consider feelings and ideas of others. 
(3) Abundance Mentality: remind yourself that there is plenty of space for everyone. Life is no zero-sum game; the only one you can compare with is yourself, not with others. 

Interpersonal Leadership
Interpersonal leadership involves genuine character, proactivity, a win-win attitude, and the power of influence. The more genuine your character is, the more proactive you will be; the more commitment to a win-win attitude you will have, the more powerful your influence will be. 

Challenge Yourself 
Test the principle of thinking win-win: 

1. Think of a situation where you’ll need to reach a mutual agreement. Write down a list of your needs and the other party’s needs. Create common ground by figuring out how you can meet the needs of both you and the other party. 
2. Identify an important relationship in your life and think about how your interactions balance this relationship. Do you give more than you take? Do you take more than you give? Create a list where you can find common ground and meet the needs of both you and the other individual. 
   

“Most people do not listen with intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
– Stephen R. Covey

Habit 5 presses on the need to seek to understand before to be understood. Most people seek first to be understood (you want to get your point across). We’re quick to listen autobiographically (to check how things measure up with our own perspective and life experiences as our frame of reference and consequently prematurely decide what the other individual means before he/she finishes communicating).

Autobiographic Responses
– Evaluate: judge and (dis)agree with what is said based on our own frame of reference.
– Probe: ask questions based on our own frame of reference.
– Advise: give counsel based on our own frame of reference.
– Interpret: analyze the individual’s motives and behavior based on our own motives and behavior. 

In some cases, autobiographical responses may be appropriate (e.g.: when someone asks you for your opinion). In other cases, however, the individual on the other end may feel ignored or misunderstood. 

Empathic Listening
Empathic listening helps to refrain you from using your own frame reference.  Communication is the most important skill in creating interdependent relationships. The first part of Habit 5 “Seek first to Understand …” requires consideration. To prevent misunderstandings, listen with empathy and build a sense of openness and trust. The second part of Habit 5 “… then to be understood” takes courage. Be brave and present your ideas, values, and feelings clearly. 

Challenge Yourself
Test the principle of seeking to understand first and then to be understood: 

1. The FBI’s Crisis Negotiation Unit created the “Behavioral Change Stairway Model” (BCSM). This model comprises of actively listening, showing empathy, reporting (paraphrasing), and influencing. Try to implement this model when communicating with your colleague.  
2. Another effective listening technique is the “SOFTEN principle”. The SOFTEN principle is a non-verbal behavior that consists of the following interpersonal behaviors: Smile, Open gesture, Forward leaning, Touch (i.e.: handshake), Eye contact, and Nodding. Try to incorporate this into your interactions with others to listen with empathy. 
   

“Synergy is not the same as compromise. In a compromise, one plus one equals one and a half at best.”
– Stephen R. Covey

Synergy refers to the creation of a cooperative environment that involves teamwork and the willingness to step out of the comfort zone. The main factor that drives synergy is embracing the differences between individuals. Valuing the mental, emotional, and psychological differences among people adds zest to life and creates unity that creates more solutions than a single person could create. Thus, when we create synergy and work collectively, it helps us create new opportunities and open doors to new possibilities.

Introducing Synergy to Interdependent Relationships
Habit 4 (think win-win) and Habit 5 (seek first to understand) help pool your desires with those of the other party. Once every party understands everyone’s needs and can find common ground, we can start working to create a solution to a certain problem. A spirit of trust and a sense of safety will help encourage openness and will prompt everyone to share their ideas, which leads to the creation of synergy. Both sides get what they want because of their win-win attitude (Habit 4), and both sides build their relationship in the process by seeking first to understand (Habit 5). 

Benefits of Synergy
– Looking for the good in others while sidestepping negative energy creates a constant flow of positive energy;
– Exercising courage to be open in interdependent relationships leads to openness within an environment; 
– Differences in other people are great sources to expand your perspective;
– Openness and the expansion on one’s perspective catalyze creativity and leads to innovative solutions that benefit all. 

Challenge Yourself
Test the principle of synergizing:

1. Think of a situation with someone who you don’t get along with. Write down your view. Write down his/her view right next to it. Now, put yourself in his/her shoes by thinking and feeling how it feels to be this particular individual. Does this help you understand them better? The better you can understand another individual, the easier it will be to come to a solution that benefits all. 
2. Think of a situation where you had great teamwork with someone who you get along with. What’s the difference between your view and his/her view? What conditions were met that led to this positive collaboration? How can you recreate these conditions in other interdependent relationships? 
   

[ Balance & Renewal ]
Continuous Growth (Habit 7)

“Renewal is the principle and the process that empowers us to move on an upward spiral of growth and change, of continuous improvement.”
– Stephen R. Covey

Sharpen the saw refers to the preservation and enhancement of yourself. Habit 7 represents personal renewal in four dimensions of your life:

(1) Physical: healthy food habits, exercise, proper rest. Renewing physical health helps build muscles of proactivity in Habit 1.
(2) Spiritual: spend time in nature, meditate, music, art. Renewing spirituality practices Habit 2, wherein values are revisited and so you can begin with an end in mind. 
(3) Mental: learning, teaching, reading, writing. Renewing mental health helps maximize the use of time and resources through the use of the time quadrant in Habit 3.
(4) Social/emotional: connect with others, contribute to meaningful projects that improve the life of others. Focusing on emotional health practices Habit 4 (thinking win-win), Habit 5 (seek to understand others), and Habit 6 (find mutually beneficial solutions through synergy). 

To be highly effective people, we must devote time to sharpen the saw (self-renewal).  Every day offers a new opportunity for personal renewal and all it takes is the desire, knowledge, and skill to seize that opportunity. It is also important to look to inspire others by being considerate, by listening with empathy, and by encouraging them to be proactive. The more we see others in terms of their unseen potential, the more we can use our creativity. Renewal empowers us grow continuously toward a sustainable lifestyle and to be effective on the long run. 

Challenge Yourself
Test the principle of sharpening the saw:

1. Make a list of activities in each dimension (physical, spiritual, mental, social) and choose one activity per dimension as a goal for the coming week. Evaluate your performance at the end of the week. Did you succeed or fail to accomplish each goal? What led to this? How does it make you feel?
2. Commit to sharpening the saw by doing at least one activity per dimension every week and evaluate your performance. Revisit the evaluations you’ve logged at the end of the month. Did you commit to sharpening the saw? What went right and what went wrong? How does this make you feel? 
   

Turning these activities into a habit can be extremely difficult, because they are new. Duhigg’s “The Power of Habit” shows how they can be changed. And if that’s not enough, maybe McRaven could help you with a little piece of his advice:

“If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.” 
– William Harry McRaven in ‘Make Your Bed’ 

By making your bed every morning, you’ve accomplished the first task of the day. This will encourage you to do other tasks subsequently, ultimately, creating a domino effect of accomplished tasks. McRaven explains that if you can’t do the little things right, you won’t be able to the big things right. And if you have a bad day, you at least come home to a bed that you made. This could give you the encouragement that tomorrow will be better. 

Snapshot

Thanks for reading!
This article captures what I consider to be the highlights of the book and articles that helped me gain understanding of the subject matter, and should only be treated as such. If you enjoyed this article, hit the follow button for more articles and summaries.

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Harari, O. (2002). The Leadership Secrets of Colin Powell.New York: McGraw-Hill Education.

Mueller, S. (2015, October 9). Stephen Covey‘s Time Management Matrix Explained . From Planet of Success: http://www.planetofsuccess.com/blog/2015/stephen-coveys-time-management-matrix-explained/

McRaven, W. H. (2017). Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life…And Maybe the World.New York: Grand Central Publishing.

Ofman, D. (2015). He, ik daar…?!Servire.

QuickMBA. (2010). Summary of Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. From QuickMBA: http://www.quickmba.com/mgmt/7hab/